Tuesday, July 29, 2008
In Dreams
fantasies are fulfilled. But lately I wonder if they are merely forced closures on the faded tales of the yesteryears.
I am with people I was never meant to be with. The "seems to be too good to be true" situations arouse a sense of guilty pleasure - without the guilt because, after all, a dream is only a dream, verdad?
The violations I make in the dream space are more sophisticated and more egregious than in a physical realm. It is the righting of a wrong I made in the past. I wake up feeling like a clean slate, laundering away the mental sins.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
My dreams are often like cheap suspense novels. Some pursuit and urgency sets the pace of the story. In a moment of trouble, we hide in the corner, disguised as a couple. Locking lips, just to deceive enemy eyes. The chance act becomes a reality, and there is an air of organic feelings being exchanged. It is not an excitement of lust; but emotions of "sorry" and "I understand" are conveyed in the contact. It is a slow release of suffering as one emerges from a deep end for a breath of air.
The awakening leaves me delirious in a limbo of imagination and reality. All I know is that there is a sense of peace in knowing that there was a happy ending. A closure in the parallel universe.
I would have normally brushed it aside as a silly dream. But 1 in 3 dreams lately are giving me incredible sensations of peace. I cannot help but wonder if my counterparts are feeling such euphoria - the energies colliding on the same plane in the parallel universe.
I am with people I was never meant to be with. The "seems to be too good to be true" situations arouse a sense of guilty pleasure - without the guilt because, after all, a dream is only a dream, verdad?
The violations I make in the dream space are more sophisticated and more egregious than in a physical realm. It is the righting of a wrong I made in the past. I wake up feeling like a clean slate, laundering away the mental sins.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
My dreams are often like cheap suspense novels. Some pursuit and urgency sets the pace of the story. In a moment of trouble, we hide in the corner, disguised as a couple. Locking lips, just to deceive enemy eyes. The chance act becomes a reality, and there is an air of organic feelings being exchanged. It is not an excitement of lust; but emotions of "sorry" and "I understand" are conveyed in the contact. It is a slow release of suffering as one emerges from a deep end for a breath of air.
The awakening leaves me delirious in a limbo of imagination and reality. All I know is that there is a sense of peace in knowing that there was a happy ending. A closure in the parallel universe.
I would have normally brushed it aside as a silly dream. But 1 in 3 dreams lately are giving me incredible sensations of peace. I cannot help but wonder if my counterparts are feeling such euphoria - the energies colliding on the same plane in the parallel universe.
Bike Rider's Club
A lot of weekends are not worth mentioning, but I keep on thinking back to a recent weekend in New York with my Colombiano amigo - Omar. Not only is he an awesome guide of NY (he knows it like the back of his hand, and his love for the City is second to none), but he is also a perpetrator of "all things unique."
He mentioned that he volunteers on Sundays to cycle around New York with kids and was wondering if I wanted to join. The answer was obvious, and we were awake as much as we could be at 9 on a Sunday morning (well, I was nursing a hangover and scraping out a raspy voice from singing on a rooftop the night before).
Hilarity ensued when we had to figure out how to get me to the bike recycling shop. After two bus rides, one missed subway, and few jogs around Queens, we arrived at the shop. I was turning all shades of green and blue, but all's well if you can fake it, right?
There's not much that can top the faces of kids who learn how to change gears on their 5-speed, climb up an incline, being chased by yellow cabbies... and do it all without stopping. There's also something about seeing awe-struck expressions of kids when they ride by Ground Zero. A fathers told his story of how he drove by the World Trade Tower hours before the crash. A realization that they are in the presence of a place of emotion and universally recognized site of humanity's tragedy.
One of the most important lessons learned is building the confidence in riding safely through the City. Hopefully, many of these kids will adopt the habits of biking to school and work in the future. For now, they ride the loaner Fuji bikes from the recycle shops. But they will soon want a bike of their own, and they will learn to take care of it.
As for me? I am going to get a nice and cushy spandex if I am going to take up cycling for real. 'Nuff said.
He mentioned that he volunteers on Sundays to cycle around New York with kids and was wondering if I wanted to join. The answer was obvious, and we were awake as much as we could be at 9 on a Sunday morning (well, I was nursing a hangover and scraping out a raspy voice from singing on a rooftop the night before).
Hilarity ensued when we had to figure out how to get me to the bike recycling shop. After two bus rides, one missed subway, and few jogs around Queens, we arrived at the shop. I was turning all shades of green and blue, but all's well if you can fake it, right?
There's not much that can top the faces of kids who learn how to change gears on their 5-speed, climb up an incline, being chased by yellow cabbies... and do it all without stopping. There's also something about seeing awe-struck expressions of kids when they ride by Ground Zero. A fathers told his story of how he drove by the World Trade Tower hours before the crash. A realization that they are in the presence of a place of emotion and universally recognized site of humanity's tragedy.
One of the most important lessons learned is building the confidence in riding safely through the City. Hopefully, many of these kids will adopt the habits of biking to school and work in the future. For now, they ride the loaner Fuji bikes from the recycle shops. But they will soon want a bike of their own, and they will learn to take care of it.
As for me? I am going to get a nice and cushy spandex if I am going to take up cycling for real. 'Nuff said.
