Thursday, November 02, 2006
Learning the Lingo
I stole this from Farid:
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
*Guilty as charged. Every woman reading this is nodding right now.
MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
After chatting with Drake and KK, respectively, I was totally floored at why we do this to ourselves. Humans, I mean. You Tarzan. Me Jane. Can't we just be straightforward and get along???
I am trying to learn Cantonese and French right now. Apparently, trying to learn both at a half-ass rate does not promote progress. I have a strange tendency to mix up Mandarin and Spanish, so this may be a doomed attempt as well. Palez-vous guangdonghua?
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
*Guilty as charged. Every woman reading this is nodding right now.
MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
After chatting with Drake and KK, respectively, I was totally floored at why we do this to ourselves. Humans, I mean. You Tarzan. Me Jane. Can't we just be straightforward and get along???
I am trying to learn Cantonese and French right now. Apparently, trying to learn both at a half-ass rate does not promote progress. I have a strange tendency to mix up Mandarin and Spanish, so this may be a doomed attempt as well. Palez-vous guangdonghua?
// posted by sakit @ 8:46 PM 
Comments:
<< Home
PALEZ-vous? Mon dieu, ma soeur! C'est incroyable. Nous allons etudie pendant nos vacances parce que j'oublie completement. A tout a l'heure!
hahaha... yeah i have the same problem with languages. i have been studying spanish and japanese at the same time for the past 2 years and there'd be days when I would walk into Spanish class and be so tempted to say 'sumimasen' to my teacher... or perdon to my sensei. and dont get me started on mixing up guangdonghua and pudonghua... of the few phrases i learnt when i was in HK/China, they were pronounced so comically badly that they were almost unintellingible. so how come ure learning canto anyway? seems a pretty obscure language to pursue... (sorry HK/KL people!)
Post a Comment
<< Home
