Monday, June 20, 2005
Lonliness and Multiple Intimacy
"So you 'live in the moment' - but do you ever get lonely?"
It started with a conversation about lonliness. Lonliness, to me, seemed like a state of mind.
Tonight I won't be alone, but you know that don't mean I'm not lonely - Bon Jovi
The question also reminded me of a chapter in a book I was reading recently. According to the Dalai Lama, his source of happiness comes from intimacy with multiple beings; therefore, he never gets lonely. This logic seems conceivable only by a celibate monk or a polygamist with a harem, but the statement was rocking my world and shifting my paradigm.
So what about multiple intimacy? Somehow, the culture we live in seems to be intoxicated with the belief in "the ONE" - the one I will fall in love with, my one and only soul mate, my one true love, yaddi, yaddi, yadda...
If you actually did find your one soul mate, congratulations! But what if things didn't work out with 'the one'? Or you were still searching for "the right one?" - Do you feel like you've failed in your one and only purpose in life? Do you waste your time until you find him/her?
Intimacy does not necessarily require a romantic relationship with another being. Rather, it can mean openness, sharing, and understanding at a level that brings great comfort and joy between two sentient beings. Intellectual intimacy, emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, heck - even intimacy through common joy in music. Willingness to open up and to reciprocate acceptance seems to be the key to happiness - and a way to shed lonliness.
It was enlightening. I can't convert overnight, but it definitely gives a wider scope for achieving daily happiness.
It started with a conversation about lonliness. Lonliness, to me, seemed like a state of mind.
Tonight I won't be alone, but you know that don't mean I'm not lonely - Bon Jovi
The question also reminded me of a chapter in a book I was reading recently. According to the Dalai Lama, his source of happiness comes from intimacy with multiple beings; therefore, he never gets lonely. This logic seems conceivable only by a celibate monk or a polygamist with a harem, but the statement was rocking my world and shifting my paradigm.
So what about multiple intimacy? Somehow, the culture we live in seems to be intoxicated with the belief in "the ONE" - the one I will fall in love with, my one and only soul mate, my one true love, yaddi, yaddi, yadda...
If you actually did find your one soul mate, congratulations! But what if things didn't work out with 'the one'? Or you were still searching for "the right one?" - Do you feel like you've failed in your one and only purpose in life? Do you waste your time until you find him/her?
Intimacy does not necessarily require a romantic relationship with another being. Rather, it can mean openness, sharing, and understanding at a level that brings great comfort and joy between two sentient beings. Intellectual intimacy, emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, heck - even intimacy through common joy in music. Willingness to open up and to reciprocate acceptance seems to be the key to happiness - and a way to shed lonliness.
It was enlightening. I can't convert overnight, but it definitely gives a wider scope for achieving daily happiness.
// posted by sakit @ 2:43 AM 
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Your post reminds me what chris rock once said, " Life ain't gonna give you a soulmate, but if you're luck, life will give you a mate." :) I don't really believe in " the one" or "soulmates". i believe that each person projects different types of happiness onto different people. happiness for me is like the bell curve. i think those "Eternity" cologne commericials are lying. what is happiness to you?
Oh Duylinh! I've been wanting to answer to this for a while. I think I adhere closely to your bell curve theory and I like Chris Rock's quote there.
What is happiness? - geezums... this could take a while. Pull up a chair and stay a while...
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What is happiness? - geezums... this could take a while. Pull up a chair and stay a while...
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