Made in Japan, Outsourced Globally

I met Chris Nilsen for lunch yesterday, which was an interesting encounter with the Aiesec hay-days. We spent some time poking at our pseudo-Japanese food. And then, somehow the conversation turned towards the sexual mores of Japan. I feel disoriented and conflicted when speaking about it because it's my culture... on the other hand, I can't help but be critical of it. Some may find this post offensive and a bit of a shocker. If so, don't read it.

In 2000, my two American friends and I went to a club in Shibuya. We had to walk through a path of sex clubs with neon menus telling you how much each trick cost. We saw store after store with "hand job - 900 yen," "golden shower - 1000 yen," etc. Love hotels lined the alley-way, with varying role playing cabarets for "naughty teacher" or "sexy nurse."

There are differences in such institutions too. Caba-cura. Tele-cura. Sex-cura. Strip club. I heard that there is a strip club called "Sushi" where the women are on turning sushi tables. And there is a hierarchy for these clubs too - a strip club is cheaper than a caba-cura, where the girls are paid to talk with clients. Apparently, anyone can strip, but it takes certain skill and a college degree to hold an interesting conversation.

Some studies indicate that the Japanese population scores low in the statistics for per capita sex. They're not talking to the right generation, perhaps. At the train station exit at Shibuya around 6pm, you encounter a mob of youths loitering around. Often times, girls in school uniforms, adjusting makeup, looking coy to meet their friends/boyfriend/or possibly a catch for the night. Some are actual high school girls. Others are twenty-somethings in school girl uniforms - a niche group that some men like. And then, there are the 12-15 year olds who start early. Sex becomes a mean to uphold a certain lifestyle of buying LV bags or Dior cosmetics.

I used to think that this was an anomaly to the rule, as I don't personally know people who practice such behavior. But Chris told me that some of his male Japanese friends who saw prostitutes regularly. Some even had girlfriends too. They were all twenty-somethings. When I walked through a prestegious university in April 2004, some of the conversations in broad daylight caught my attention. "She's so convenient. That's why I go to her, but I don't intend on dating her." And the high school boys just laughed as they prodded their friend for juicy details.

Salaried men who let off steam by going to these clubs - to boost business relationships or to escape from his family and wife. Frustrated housewives who resort to younger men or have phone sex. A girl once found a prostitute's card in her father's wallet and told about it to her mother. She just said, "I don't care and I don't want to know about it." When there is rigidity and social awkwardness in the family realm, most people tend to take the passive road to avoid confrontation. It seems as if somewhere along the way, the Japanese culture abandoned the notion of having real relationships for the less attached anytime-anywhere sexual bonds. It's a dark side of my culture that throws me off balance. No wonder cultural anthropologists have a field day in Japan.

My discussion with a Japanese business woman a week ago brought a new insight specific to Japanese culture. There is a concept of "chosho" and "tansho" (which in English, the closest thing I could compare it to is "pro" and "con," but it's not quite the same).

The Japanese chosho is that we have the ability to take in different cultures and adapt it/make it better (behold: Toyota, Seven Eleven, VHS). And the Japanese are also pacifists who favor harmony. But, this trait becomes a tansho when we have no moral grounding. The adaptability also means that principles are compromised to please others or to fit the epoch trends. Don't get me wrong, many Japanese will still uphold values such as "honesty (seijitsu sa)," "seriousness (majime sa)," "filial piety (oya kokou)" - but when asked what "justice (seigi)" is, the Japanese have a hard time answering in the chaos of opinions from everywhich direction pushing and pulling them. It's the hard questions where you can't be a fence-sitter that scares we/them Japanese. I feel guilty of it sometimes too.

I still think the seemingly hollow and superficial sexual behaviors do not reflect the majority of Japanese. Perhaps my trip back to Tokyo in March will give me a more truthful observation.

// posted by sakit @ 10:05 PM