Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Banging my head on the wall
A while ago, I posted an online personal ad to see what would happen. Hey, it was free and what did I have to lose? (so stop rolling your eyes). Meeting people at bars is just not my cup of tea (especially when most think that you are a hooker because you are Asian and can drink a lot).
Well, I screen out the mid-30s and above and anything with a disturbing photo. But other than that, I am willing to meet up for a coffee or a happy hour. And it's a good way of adding variety to my network... or so I thought.
I met a cute, British English teacher last week, who lived in Japan for a couple years with the JET program. I have some friends who are now on the program and we had a good laugh about Japanese culture. Did I also mention that he was cute? I thought that the night went well, but nothing further. Oh well. At least he disspelled the myth that all personals people are either utterly desparate or social cloisters.
But last night was agonizing torture. I met a 28-year old Frenchman, and went on probably one of the worst dates ever. We went to a health cafe (KOSMO is a posh cafe with smoothies and yummy wrap sandwiches - don't go to it often enough) and he insisted on buying me juice. Since his credit was low, we ended up standing there for 15 minutes while he was recharging the card. And it all went downhill from there...
I casually ask, "So, what do you do here?" And he goes on about how he's a "Project Manager," and what a tough life he has. Now, in my mind, having a title of project manager means nothing until you can identify the industry and the scale of what you do - my flatmate is a project manager for an English teaching company, but it means he deals with anything from HR, client management, curriculum building to newsletter editing.
I just sat there in the mind-numbing conversation, as he tried to explain what a busy life he led between vendors and engineers and tried to make himself sound so impressive. I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open. (Yes, don't bore your date to death with your job and try to pull that sympathy or I'm impressive crap - it's just dull and it sounds like you have no life outside of work).
When his cappucino and the smoothie arrived, I was so thirsty that I just kind of did a little 'cheers' and started drinking the juice. He slowly nursed the cappucino, added cream and sugar, and said, "you're rude, you know?" The heck I am - I just came back from the gym and was dehydrated. But he beat me on the rudeness scale, as he had a spontaneous cough and blasted his cappucino all over the place, including on yours truly. Dripping with coffee, I got up for the napkins and secretly wanted to leave then and there.
We continued the dreaded conversation and he asked, "So why do you have such a heavy American accent?" - of course, he's French and would notice such things. I just told him the story of living all around the US. He insisted that he lived next to San Francisco - Sunnyvale (which does not qualify as 'next to SF' in my world).
He then proceeded to tell me how he thought Silicon Valley engineers are the most terrible and boring people in the world with their Java shirts. I just smiled and said, "my friends are those techies you talk about." (actually, my friend has the Java jacket, a long pony-tail and fashions a red Fedora hat). Should I have told him that my father is in the engineering field too? Of course, he topped it off with, "those engineers don't have the pressure of a manager, like me, and they are lazy." My friends happen to be some of the most bizarre yet creative and fun people to hang out with. And my Dad is a connosieur of wine, music (of all sorts), food, and is an extremely interesting man - and he is an engineer who has done the jungle gym vertical and horizontal climb to do R&D, marketing and management.
Absolutely turned off and pissed off at the conversation, I wanted to call it quits as soon as possible. This guy responded to every comment I made with a "But..." He was Mr. Negativity and thought that everybody was too dumb to understand his 'pressures' and 'work' - he can go on with his self-righteousness, but I guarantee that he will never get a girl any time soon unless she is a masochist. I didn't even want to make the effort to strike up an interesting conversation and he must have thought me dull - but that would have been just as well, because he seemed to put down whatever I had to say.
I joined Duncan, brother, & Co. afterwards, as we poked on the hot-pot and talked about university/marines hazing rituals (some too disturbing to mention), 20th century Chinese history, and Andrew's improvement on chopstick skills. It's good to be back in the world of interesting and unpatronizing friends.
Well, I screen out the mid-30s and above and anything with a disturbing photo. But other than that, I am willing to meet up for a coffee or a happy hour. And it's a good way of adding variety to my network... or so I thought.
I met a cute, British English teacher last week, who lived in Japan for a couple years with the JET program. I have some friends who are now on the program and we had a good laugh about Japanese culture. Did I also mention that he was cute? I thought that the night went well, but nothing further. Oh well. At least he disspelled the myth that all personals people are either utterly desparate or social cloisters.
But last night was agonizing torture. I met a 28-year old Frenchman, and went on probably one of the worst dates ever. We went to a health cafe (KOSMO is a posh cafe with smoothies and yummy wrap sandwiches - don't go to it often enough) and he insisted on buying me juice. Since his credit was low, we ended up standing there for 15 minutes while he was recharging the card. And it all went downhill from there...
I casually ask, "So, what do you do here?" And he goes on about how he's a "Project Manager," and what a tough life he has. Now, in my mind, having a title of project manager means nothing until you can identify the industry and the scale of what you do - my flatmate is a project manager for an English teaching company, but it means he deals with anything from HR, client management, curriculum building to newsletter editing.
I just sat there in the mind-numbing conversation, as he tried to explain what a busy life he led between vendors and engineers and tried to make himself sound so impressive. I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open. (Yes, don't bore your date to death with your job and try to pull that sympathy or I'm impressive crap - it's just dull and it sounds like you have no life outside of work).
When his cappucino and the smoothie arrived, I was so thirsty that I just kind of did a little 'cheers' and started drinking the juice. He slowly nursed the cappucino, added cream and sugar, and said, "you're rude, you know?" The heck I am - I just came back from the gym and was dehydrated. But he beat me on the rudeness scale, as he had a spontaneous cough and blasted his cappucino all over the place, including on yours truly. Dripping with coffee, I got up for the napkins and secretly wanted to leave then and there.
We continued the dreaded conversation and he asked, "So why do you have such a heavy American accent?" - of course, he's French and would notice such things. I just told him the story of living all around the US. He insisted that he lived next to San Francisco - Sunnyvale (which does not qualify as 'next to SF' in my world).
He then proceeded to tell me how he thought Silicon Valley engineers are the most terrible and boring people in the world with their Java shirts. I just smiled and said, "my friends are those techies you talk about." (actually, my friend has the Java jacket, a long pony-tail and fashions a red Fedora hat). Should I have told him that my father is in the engineering field too? Of course, he topped it off with, "those engineers don't have the pressure of a manager, like me, and they are lazy." My friends happen to be some of the most bizarre yet creative and fun people to hang out with. And my Dad is a connosieur of wine, music (of all sorts), food, and is an extremely interesting man - and he is an engineer who has done the jungle gym vertical and horizontal climb to do R&D, marketing and management.
Absolutely turned off and pissed off at the conversation, I wanted to call it quits as soon as possible. This guy responded to every comment I made with a "But..." He was Mr. Negativity and thought that everybody was too dumb to understand his 'pressures' and 'work' - he can go on with his self-righteousness, but I guarantee that he will never get a girl any time soon unless she is a masochist. I didn't even want to make the effort to strike up an interesting conversation and he must have thought me dull - but that would have been just as well, because he seemed to put down whatever I had to say.
I joined Duncan, brother, & Co. afterwards, as we poked on the hot-pot and talked about university/marines hazing rituals (some too disturbing to mention), 20th century Chinese history, and Andrew's improvement on chopstick skills. It's good to be back in the world of interesting and unpatronizing friends.
// posted by sakit @ 7:31 PM 
Comments:
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i really enjoyed reading your blog. As a expat, i too can relate to your comments. i recall recently wondering the streets of HK looking for some to hold me closer and whisper sweet nothings in my ear.
However, i quickly learned that sex and the city are as comestic as makeup. I enjoy your honest, passionate writings. I hope that experience more love in Hk than I did, and that that feeling of love sweeps you off your feet.
sterlingwright.blogspot.com
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However, i quickly learned that sex and the city are as comestic as makeup. I enjoy your honest, passionate writings. I hope that experience more love in Hk than I did, and that that feeling of love sweeps you off your feet.
sterlingwright.blogspot.com
<< Home
